The Top 11 Ways Writing is Like Feeding a Baby Cereal
Author: Jody Wallace
Original Publication Date in Love Notes: September 2002

11) It works best if you have the proper tools in the proper proportions — spoon, cereal with correct gummy consistency, hand towel for spills vs. computer that doesn't crash, relatively ergonomic chair, functional brain.

10) Neither task goes as quickly or as smoothly as one might prefer, so make sure to allot yourself sufficient time.

9) Also make sure to allot yourself sufficient time to clean up the mess — cereal flung on walls, shoved in baby's ear, and smeared on your shirt vs. dangling participles, misspelled words, and plot contrivances.

8) Whatever you do, don't get up in the middle of the session to do something else! In the case of your baby and the cereal, she is going to grab the spoon and send oatmeal with banana flying across the room to land upon the cat, who will then roll on your best carpet in a frenzy. In the case of your creative Muse, she is going to elope with some hot guy and you won't get her back anytime soon. And when you do, she might be pregnant, which is NOT a good thing in a Muse OR a writer, trust me on this.

7) Your mom is going to be both your biggest critic and your biggest fan and she's going to tell you exactly what you are doing wrong and how it should be fixed. But don't worry, she will only be better than you at your chosen task, whether it be cereal feeding or writing, for the first while...unless your mom happens to be Catherine Asaro or Nora Roberts.

6) The task is sometimes its own reward when we get that special, toothless, cereal-smeared smile from either our beloved offspring or our cleverly written narrative. Two spitty baby thumbs up!

5) The task is sometimes its own punishment when we get that dreaded, toothless, cereal-smeared wail or writer's block.

4) Unless you get paid to do it, like in a daycare, you must press on through the often difficult task in hopes of the eventual payoff: healthy child who is willing to eat her vegetables and doesn't insist on hotdogs vs. publication, publication, publication.

3) It is not a bad idea to keep in touch with the current research being done in your chosen field so you will know not to feed your baby peanut butter or use nasty ole adverbs and pretentious speech tags in your manuscript.

2) At times, it might ease a tense situation if you sing some silly songs or break into a little softshoe. Really.

And most of all:

1) Some of that junk just needs to be spit out and thrown away.

***

Jody Wallace is an MCRW member and mother to toddler Mae.

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